One Way to Gauge Your Optimism

Ride your bicycle to work on a windy day. Wear shorts. Comfortable saddle optional. Mine was comfy but discomfort might actually help some people towards the result desired here.

Now then, work your way through the frantic city traffic and almost get killed by dumbass drivers with one hand holding their phones up to their ear and the other clutching at a cigarette. After a cascade of similar encounters with a whole variety of idiots out there, you finally get to the parking lot outside the office building, if you’re my kind of loser and at least intermittently work at an office, and secure your bike to a road sign to which you’re not supposed to secure it.

And now for the test: As you feel the pleasant, soothing cold spreading across and all over your inner thighs, gradually filling all the nooks and crannies between your seemingly moist skin and the fabric of your undies, what do you think happened?

Is it a) just that wind finding its way through your shorts? or b) yeah, this time you shit your pants and it’s the brown that just made you feel good for a moment?

Just how much of an optimist are you?

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