The weirdos you meet in your own crowd! Especially if your crowd is anything like my crowd. For over a dozen years I’ve abstained from all animal products. They call this shit veganism. I do this because I see it as a bottom line of not being a dick to other animals. They all feel and experience, need to be free to live lives their way, they all value living. Since I don’t need to kill or exploit another animal to survive, I don’t do it. Don’t be a dick, that’s all.
And there’s other folks like me out there in this world turned upside down and swarmed with dicks. More and more of them, in fact. Both dicks and vegans. Anyhow, I’m enemies and friends with both. But I gotta tell you I have not met people as weird and confused and malicious among non-vegans as I have among my own crowd. Let’s leave the enemies aside and let me just tell you about this one girl in her early twenties that I found was downright weird.
I met her on a dating site. Shit happens, right? Granted, she said she was vegetarian and not vegan, which kinda makes her a cousin instead of a sister and also a crazy cousin at that because vegetarianism just makes no sense, period. The cows whose milk you keep drinking, the hens whose eggs you keep eating, and so on and so on, they all land at the slaughterhouse when no longer exploitable, see? They still die just the same and they are still born into a life of slavery and shit.
Back to the girl. So I’m talking to this crazy vegetarian cousin and it turns out she studies veterinary medicine. I can also see from her photos she deals a lot with rodents and she says she runs something like a mini-clinic for them. Turns out she also works two jobs or something in addition to studying. Sounds like an exaggeration but I get the picture: I am busy. I am so, so, so, so busy. I don’t know what kind of jobs so I want to find out more but soon enough the conversation gets to the point where I say “So, vegetarian, huh?”
I just love the excuses from folks who are already vegetarian and know should be vegan just for the bottom line but aren’t. Again, don’t be a dick, is all I say. Like before you go on a mission to “save the animals,” as a lot of them crazies out there with huge egos do, just don’t be a dick for starters.
So she says she knows milk and eggs and all the rest are bad but she just don’t have the time to eat right, what with both of them jobs hanging over her and the clinic and the studies and all. Look people, you are not fucking Jesus. You got no second coming. Find the time to eat and eat right. And if you got the time to eat right–because you’re a sensible person–you can sure as fuck eat vegan. There really ain’t much hassle to it. Take some B12 on top and shut up. And then, once you’ve eaten well, then use the time you got to do some good.
This girl, she works with wild animals, too. She says last Friday or something she was feeding a rescued owl one-day-old baby chicks. Turns out they were dead at that point, male throwaways from a egg-laying hen breeding factory. Well, I guess that makes it OK. Does it? Shit, man, I dunno. Getting involved with wild animals, and I’ve been involved myself here and there trying to avoid these shitty situations, will easily get you confused.
I don’t fucking get it. There’s people out there with mice and rats at their places. There’s others out there, right next to them, with big-ass snakes at their places, feeding the snakes mice and rats and whatnot. What makes you think a snake is worth sacrificing a mouse for? Fuck, how about 100 mice? You asked the mice? You asked their people? That this shit happens in nature is a whole different ballgame. That’s where they do it on their own terms, and no, not everybody’s happy about the outcomes but they do have free lives.
I said this to the girl and she says she doesn’t own a snake but her buddy sometimes asks her to feed his snake. (I mean a real snake, you perv.) At this point I look at her pics with the rats again. Seems like whatever fucked up situation I can muster in my head, she’s already in it.
This is nothing weird in itself. People are notoriously confused when it comes to their relationships with other animals. They seldom ask themselves why because that would reveal what they’re doing is whimsical nonsense, hurting the animals for no good reason at all: for convenience, pleasure, tradition, taste, whatever. But this one is a vegetarian. She is kinda on the team, even if she’s warming the bench with her butt the whole game. You’d expect different from her, right?
But there’s more. When we talk about cows at the slaughterhouse and such–dating material conversation–she says this year at university she’ll have to kill cows herself and study their flesh. I don’t think you have to do that for class, I say. I know vegan vets who’d rather kill their professor than any healthy cow, but this girl says it depends on the prof and she’ll flunk the year if she doesn’t do it. Later that day a vegan vet friend of mine who studied at the same uni tells me all this is shit and she don’t have to do it and that’s not what vets have to do at slaughterhouses, ever.
I mean, how do you justify murdering that particular cow? There ain’t nothing you could do to make it up to her. You think you can just copy and paste unique beings, all with their histories and perspectives and experiences? By definition, you can’t.
So I dunno, maybe the girl is hot for that twisted shit. As our brief but intense talk nears an end, I just say to this girl that she has lost it. That’s all.
There’s complicated and unclear situations in life, you fucking bet. But then there’s shit you bring on yourself and you lose any sense of doing more good than harm as you get involved with stuff in unhealthy ways.
She says she has had enough of the conversation and I’m like, yeah, you think you have had enough, ask me if I‘ve had enough. Come on, ask me. Ah, fuck it.
I thought on this later and I could imagine this girl standing around in a labcoat and doing vivisection on rats. I could imagine her standing there confessing that she finally understood that in order to help “the animals” she’d have to kill them. Wait, ain’t that what PETA’s Ingrid Newkirk did with the dogs and cats PETA took into their care? It is. I tell you, you can’t top the weirdos in your own crowd.
The moral, tho? Fuck them animal products and keep your head screwed on straight. Don’t forget to eat and keep a basic moral compass going.