#547 Hours

My friend, stressed out by an interview she got going this afternoon, says to me, “I got up today at an hour that does not even exist.”

“What time?” I inquire.

“Six.”

“Yeah, heard about that one,” I say. “Mythical.”

“A veritable Loch Ness monster among hours”–

My friend is a rock star.

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Go Sell This #8: Jesus Crud

jesus crud

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Sex Fridge

According to this author’s confession to his priest, at least one woman in his life has matured enough to accept the idea of have a fridge stocked with snacks placed next to the bed in which the do their essential lovemaking. The sole condition posed by the woman was that the eats be reserved for after the intercourse. The author reluctantly agreed, fearing the solution would drastically increase the probability of having to cuddle–something every sane male despises.

In all this, though, the woman clearly cares about her sex life as much as satiating the author’s appetite. Her orgasms have improved in both frequency and intensity and she constantly dreams about her lover’s magnificent penis. No complaints heard anywhere, including the fridge manufacturer.

For his part, the priest was delighted to hear all this. He loves it when people get along and has requested that the next confession be accompanied by a series of sexually explicit photographs of the couple. With or without the snacks in the frame.

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Video Japan

Japanese video games have a flavor so distinct that even a person with no tongue could taste it. Different people than the bland–honestly, bland–American masses hungry for more standardized, convenient, mind-numbing entertainment and then complaining they are not getting anything new. Continue reading

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Go Sell This #7: Paystation 4

paystation 4The Paystation 4, center of your home entertainment. Produced in Shenzen, China, at Foxconn, one of the largest electronics manufacturer in the world, a complex of factories where western capital squeezes the life out of Chinese workers who on occasion just happen to jump out of windows there. That’s how happy they are for you and me to be able to play video games. So the management installed “safety nets” all around, thus decreasing the rate of successful suicide attempts. That’s commitment to worker welfare, no?

It’s just entertainment, folks.

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Go Sell This #6: YWBFTWITWS

you will bleed from the wound in the world's sideNotice how I say will instead of shall? That’s me being unpretentious.

Notice how I say I am being unpretentious? That’s me being pretentious.

Notice how I say I am being pretentious? That’s me being unpretentious.

Notice how you think you’ve just wasted a minute of your time?

That’s you being a dick.

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Go Sell This #5: Now or Later

NOW OR LATER

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